The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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