that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She announced her abortion via fbk
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize