Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
