Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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