Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
