So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
