i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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