Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
How's work?
Spinning.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
