My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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