saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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