based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
