boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
