I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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