the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
