meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
