i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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