THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize