You really coming over, don't trick.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize