come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
