Who did Billy Mays play for?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
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I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
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Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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