i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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