i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
either way he was missing a nipple.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
