Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
