You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
