You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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