I'm gonna have a badass scar
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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