its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize