Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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