I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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