It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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