Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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