marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
