no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
