Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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