I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
