bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
