I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
