I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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