He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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