Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
