is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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