Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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