dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
