Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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