Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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