I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
