Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
