God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
