Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
