Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
