some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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