The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
