He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
