hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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