I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize