so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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