You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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