I accidentally had phone sex last night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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