the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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