2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
