On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
