community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
