i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
